Celes Cole stared out at the desert surrounding Figaro castle and took in a deep breath of the dry, hot air. A little sand buffeted her cheeks as the wind rose and died. She smiled and leaned against the tower parapet as her blonde hair gracefully danced around her face, caressing her neck in the teasing breeze. Memories of the wedding and the many parties before and after were the reasons she didn’t mind the constant trips to Figaro from their 'home' in Narshe.
A frown warped the smile before she turned from the view. Narshe was more a project than a home. She and Locke had taken the assignment of encouraging resettlement just as Terra and Edgar had done for Mobliz, and Cyan for Doma, and Gau and Alice for the Veldt. Celes had never much cared for the cold and distant atmosphere of Narshe, even before it had become the ghost town with the coming of the ‘World of Ruin’. Once or twice Locke had mentioned her unusually somber attitude, but she’d decided to keep it to herself. After all, she didn’t want him to move from where he had such an important job. Since his discovery of the Phoenix magicite and the short resurrection of Rachel, she’d noticed his new sense of purpose and a drive to change those things he felt weren’t right. She loved him more because of it. She also knew he would have quit the Narshe project if he knew how she hated the place.
Celes sighed and made her way downstairs. She felt guilty for pressing Locke to let her come with him instead of remaining in Narshe. I should be looking over the re-construction. Celes shivered, fighting the shame of not wanting anything to do with it.
Laughing children ran past. Celes turned to see Terra coming down the hall after them; her unusual violet eyes twinkled with laughter.
"Hello," Terra greeted in an excited tone. "I didn’t know you came with Locke. Why didn’t you send for me?" Terra embraced Celes before moving to walk beside her. "How are you?"
Celes shook her head. "Not so good, Terra."
Terra’s eyes darkened with concern. "You and Locke haven’t had a fight, have you?"
"No. Locke’s fine," Celes said with a tiny smile. The smile faded, however, when a twinge of fear made her stop and examine Terra’s face. "Why? Did he say something?"
Terra bit her lower lip. "Celes, Locke’s worried about you. He says you’re not your usual self, and that you’re so eager to have him meet with Edgar… Locke’s a little afraid that he’s done something wrong."
Celes fought back the tears of frustration and guilt. "Oh, Terra… I was afraid of that, but it’s not him. It’s me."
Terra laid a hand on Celes’ arm. "What’s wrong?"
Celes released a deep breath. "I’m so confused, and it’s worse since Locke and I married." Her voice cracked. "I know. It sounds awful, and I’m not blaming him, but… But I thought it would be different."
"What would?"
Celes looked around. "Could we talk somewhere private? This may take a while."
"Sure." Terra led her to a small room preceding the main reception hall and locked the door behind them. "Edgar and Locke shouldn’t miss us for a while."
Celes watched Terra’s profile as they stepped further into the room toward a couch. There was a beautiful radiance about her face that Celes hadn’t ever seen before. Terra had always been pretty, but now there was something more. Something different. "How are the two of you doing?"
Terra flushed as she sat beside Celes, self-consciously twirling a lock of her pale green hair around her finger. "I never knew it would be like this."
"What do you mean? Like what?"
"We talk about everything and… he understands. When he doesn’t, he makes me explain it until he does. Then there are the night walks on the desert in the moonlight. The evening picnics when we just hold each other…" Terra flushed a darker shade of red.
Celes smiled with a pang of wistfulness. "That’s wonderful."
Terra lifted her eyes and reached out to take hold of Celes’ hand. "Aren’t things going as well between you and Locke?"
"I don’t know anymore." Celes sighed. "We were so happy before the wedding. Even afterward, when we traveled and saw a little of the world. We went to every place that had ever held any meaning to either of us."
"When did it change?"
Celes squeezed Terra’s hand, panic rising to choke her words. "Terra, I still love him. That hasn’t changed at all. If anything, I love him more because I see how hard he tries to make this world of ours better."
"Okay, so what’s wrong?"
Celes took in a deep breath, releasing it slowly as she stood. She clenched her hands and paced behind the couch. "It’s my family."
"Your fam–" Terra blinked and watched Celes’ face. "Don’t they approve?"
Celes stopped pacing and faced Terra, hands and arms outstretched. "I don’t know anything about my family, Terra. For all I know, I was put together piece by piece by Kefka. Like some monster!" Celes’ voice cracked, and she clenched her hands at her sides. "Locke has told me so much about his parents. How they lived. Where they raised him. Locke has so much history because he knew where he came from..." Celes shook her head and covered her face with her hands. "What do I have? Nothing."
Terra stood and came to stand beside her. "But Locke doesn’t care about that. He married you, not your family."
Celes shook her head again, dropping her hands from her face. "That’s just it, Terra. No one knows who they are. No one knows anything about them. The only way I know how old I am is because I was told by the woman assigned to raise me."
Terra examined Celes’ face, who looked away. "Why is this so important all of a sudden?" Terra asked.
Celes sniffed and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I want to belong somewhere," she confessed. "I want to know where I came from." She met Terra’s gaze. "Do you know what it’s like to have only a black spot where a family should be? I want to know who my father and mother are… were… whatever. I want to be able to tell them that I’m all right. That I made it..."
Terra slowly nodded. "I do understand. I’ve so few memories of growing up. A part of me remembers the love of my parents, but then it all goes gray and black with only snatches here and there." She nodded again. "Edgar, the children, all of your friendships... they’ve been the only way I’ve made it through. That and I was able to find out my family’s history during the adventures against Kefka."
Celes wiped more tears from her cheeks and hesitantly smiled. "You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound as if..."
Terra smiled and went to pull her into a hug. "You didn’t, Celes. You’re upset. I understand that."
Celes tightened her arms around her friend. "If General Leo saw me blubbering like this..."
Terra pulled back with a smile. "You’re a woman and a wife now, not a general, Celes. Let it go. It’ll make you feel better; I guarantee it."
Celes laughed. "Whatever happened to the shy, quiet girl who never had much to say?"
Terra giggled. "She fell in love, got married, and had a honeymoon with a king."
Celes smiled kindly. "It agrees with you. Edgar certainly surprised us all."
"You? What about me? All this time he’s been secretly in love with me!"
"A secret?" Celes smirked. "Not to Locke and I."
Terra nodded and drew Celes back to the couch. "Nor to Sabin, I guess."
"Yeah, he might be a muscle-head, but he does have the occasional bought of genius."
Terra changed her eyes to the picture on the side-table. It was of Edgar and Sabin outside the front of what used to be the Coliseum. "Since he founded that school, I’ve noticed that he’s matured quite a bit, Celes. He’s regained a purpose and discipline that he’d lost when Duncan died."
"I’m glad. It always seemed to bother Locke how Sabin was so… immature compared to Edgar. It made him think that Edgar was having to do a lot of work while Sabin did nothing."
"Well, I can guarantee that Sabin has a lot of work to do now. He comes to ask Edgar for advice quite a bit."
Celes smiled. "Poor Edgar."
They laughed, but then Terra wagged a finger at Celes. "But don’t change the subject."
Celes flushed as she sat beside Terra again. "I suppose I’m just embarrassed."
"Don’t be. Now. I’ll start gathering different resources here in the Library. You start making a list of all the names of people you remember. Then we’ll see if we can cross-reference and things of that sort. We might even give Relm or Maria a visit. They had some books from the Empire, didn’t they?"
Celes nodded and pulled Terra into another embrace. "Thank you, Terra."
"What is this?" Edgar stepped into the Library to find books, papers, and scroll-cases strewn about the floor and tables. His gaze focused on Terra’s slender frame as she sat criss-cross on the exquisite rug. He stretched out on his side beside her and gazed up into her sternly concentrating face with a faint smile. "I have missed you all day, angel. Are you not coming to bed to comfort me in my misery?"
Terra’s eyes never lifted from the loose-leaf papers in her hand. "I’m sorry, Edgar, but… oh!" Her eyes caught something on the page, and her finger followed the words.
Edgar raised an eyebrow and moved to look over her shoulder. "For what do you search so intently?"
Excitement faded to disappointment and she tossed the papers away. "I almost had it that time," she grumbled.
Edgar chuckled, leaning back again before caressing her arm with a finger. "Had what, love-light?"
Terra faced Edgar with a slight blink. She smiled and caressed his cheek. "Hello." She kissed him once, twice, and then pulled back with a smile. "I missed you. How was your day?"
"Not as involving as yours, I’m afraid." Edgar stood and helped her to her feet. Then he caressed her upper arms with his thumbs as he smiled down into her uplifted face. "You must tell me what has kept you so enchantingly engaged."
Terra’s face became serious and concerned at the same time. "I had a chance to talk with Celes."
"Ah yes. How are the lovers?"
Terra sighed and looked down. "I’m worried."
Edgar examined her face. "Dear me," he said in a serious tone, "what has happened?"
"Celes has it in her mind to find her family. She thinks that she’s not really whole." Terra sighed again. "I understand what she’s feeling, Edgar, but…" Terra picked at a button on Edgar’s vest, unbuttoning it and then buttoning it again. She repeated the process as she spoke. "I don’t know how to start looking for them. There are just so many puzzle pieces... and I don’t even know what the picture is supposed to look like."
Edgar caressed her cheek before capturing her hands in his. "Terra, you must take care with involving yourself in so many mysteries. You tire yourself unduly."
Terra stared at their clasped hands. "I can’t stand by and not help them. They deserve so much more."
Edgar smiled faintly and kissed her on the forehead. "I understand, angel, but I also know what the doctor has said regarding exhausting yourself. Please, dearest, promise to come to me when an adventure arises."
Terra nodded dutifully, raising her eyes to meet his. "I will, Edgar."
"Well then, with this promise dutifully given, I will do my best to help. However, I won’t do so until you are properly ensconced within my arms in bed."
Terra giggled as he led her from the Library, hand embracing hand.
"What have you discovered thus far?" Edgar asked.
Terra’s smile faded, and her lower lip protruded in a slight pout as her hand tightened around his. "That the Empire didn’t want anyone to find out what they knew."
"Oh dear." Edgar caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. "I see I will have to postpone my meetings for the next few days and help with the navigation of the Library."
Terra raised her gaze from the floor and met his with wide eyes. "Edgar, you don’t have to do that. I can manage. Really."
Edgar’s smile was gentle. "I know you can, dear heart, but I want to be involved with this. Locke is like a brother to me, and I wish to help just as you do."
"But you’ve had these meetings planned for so long, Edgar."
"Actually, Locke and I finished this evening." He leaned in to place a kiss on her temple. "The meetings are concluded, dearest, with the exception of the one planned between Locke and myself tomorrow to set the future for Narshe in greater detail." Edgar changed his smiling eyes to Terra’s face. "Needless to say, he will likely postpone that himself. It seems we’re to have an adventure."
Terra smiled and stopped walking, facing him and taking his other hand. She stood on tiptoes and placed a caress of a kiss on his lips. "Dear Edgar... I really love you."
Edgar chuckled. "Not nearly so much as I love you, soul-light." He kissed her nose. "Come, come. To bed. We have much to plan."
Terra nodded, and they again headed for their bedchamber.
Locke slipped into the darkened room and silently closed the door behind him. There was a faint glow in the corner of the bedroom. Locke hesitated; his hand paused on the door handle. He’d been in meetings all day with Edgar, much as he wished he could have been with Celes. Seeing her so miserable made him feel helpless, because he didn’t know how to help. Not only that, he had no idea what he’d done to make their marriage hit the rocks. Day after day he’d re-lived each and every moment of their engagement and honeymoon, desperately trying to remember anything that would’ve hinted at the cause.
It was the first time he felt a sense of dread when coming to bed.
"Locke?"
He took in a deep breath and stepped further into the room. "You should be asleep, princess." But he had to admit he was glad she wasn’t.
"I know, but… Locke, we need to talk." The soft glow moved as Celes stepped forward, candle in hand. "We need to talk… now."
Locke felt dead tired from the long day of meetings with guild members and politicians, but he forgot that the moment he recognized the look on her weary face. Celes had a definite look of defeat in her eyes. It was as if she believed something was beyond saving. He hoped that it wasn’t ‘us’.
He moved to her side. "Alright. Sure. Whatever you want." There were telltale marks of tears on her cheeks and he gently took hold of her hand. "Celes? Princess, you been crying?"
Celes made a sound of disgust that ended in a sob. She turned away. "Yes."
He followed her deeper into the room, where the candle spluttered and died to submerge the room in an almost un-natural blackness. He heard the candle drop to the floor moments before Celes was pressing herself against him and wetting his shirt with her tears. Locke encircled her in his arms, pressing his cheek against her hair.
"What’s going on, Celes?" he asked finally. "Did I do something again? If I did, I am so sorry."
Celes shook her head against him and tightened the hold of her arms. "Locke, it’s not you. It never has been."
"Then what’s wrong? You just keep getting more and more unhappy, but you won’t talk about it. If it’s Narshe, I’ll leave." He pushed back and caught her gaze. "I care about you more than any job, princess. Just tell me."
"It’s my family," she choked out.
Locke waited for more, his eyes taking in every quick emotion that passed over her face.
"I-I don’t have one," she continued. "Not like you do. The Empire was my kin, and I can’t live with that anymore! I want to know who I am."
"You know I don’t care about that, right?"
Celes lowered her head. "I know, but I can’t ignore it. Believing that I may by nothing more than a soldier bred for the Empire is not the history I want to pass down to our children, Locke."
He tilted her chin up and caressed her lips with his thumb. "Then I’ll have to get you a history, now won’t I?"
Her eyes glimmered, and then she was wrapping him up tightly in her arms. "Locke, I’m sorry for scaring you. I… I didn’t know how to tell you, and I didn’t want to make you feel miserable or guilty or ashamed… You’ve been so thrilled with your duties at Narshe that I didn’t want to take you away from them."
Locke pressed his lips against her hair as his arms tightened around her. "Princess, Narshe will still be there in a week or a month."
"I know… but…"
Locke pushed gently back to meet her gaze. "I’m married to you, Celes, and not a dead town. You come first. Always and forever." He kissed her forehead and then her lips before meeting her eyes again. "Can you tell me a little bit about your childhood? So that I know where to start looking?"
Celes nodded as her gaze lowered to the floor. "Most of my life I spent training to be a soldier. I don’t remember the name of the city where I grew up."
"But you spent a lot of time in Vector and at the Magitek Research Facility, right?" Locke asked, still watching her face as his thumbs caressed her arms through the light material of her nightgown.
She nodded again. "I remember those places the most." She looked up and met his gaze. "Do you think..."
Locke sent her a reassuring smile. "I’ll leave in the morning for Kefka’s Tower… well, what’s left of it anyway. Alright?"
"Did you want me to stay here or go with you?"
"Why don’t you stay here and ask Terra to help you track down the paper trail. If I need help, I’ll come back and get you. If I find something out, I’ll come back and get you then too. Okay?"
Celes nodded again before reaching up to hold his face in her hands and draw his lips down to hers. Then she drew him into a tight embrace and pressed her cheek against his chest. "It’s going to be the first time we’ve been apart since the whole Terra/Ledo adventure." She sighed deeply. "I’m going to miss you, babe."
Locke smiled. "I’ll miss you too, princess. So let’s make the most of the time we have."
Celes chuckled as she raised her head. "Just like old times."
Locke lowered his head to brush her cheek with his lips and embrace her closer. "Better, princess," he whispered. "I want to make them better." He felt her arms tighten around him and closed his eyes. "If I don’t find anything..."
"It’s all right, babe," she whispered. Celes released her hold around him and lifted her head, again holding his face in her hands. "I just need to know that I tried to find them. That I tried to find out who I was before," she said as she held his gaze. "Then we’ll make our own family."
Locke gently brushed her long blonde hair from her face, caressing her temples and cheeks and jawline with a faint smile. Celes brought her arms up behind his neck and stepped closer as his arms encircled her again. He kissed her cheek, her neck, her throat...