Zell's expression went blank as I watched him with a surprising feeling of uncertainty. I guess the fact that he hadn't had anything but his adoptive 'Ma' made me not sure how he would take this type of revelation. I mean... to have nothing but the knowledge of a heroic grandfather, and then to find out he descended from heroes? How does a person absorb and accept something like that? Even I didn't know what to think about it.
When Zell frowned, I vaguely registered an uh oh the same time I rested my hand on his arm.
"That's not funny, doc." Zell stood, pulling away from my touch and ignoring my soft "Zell..." Instead, he said somewhat sharply "You tell Seifer that this joke's done and I'm not laughing."
Harry held Zell's dark expression. "If by 'Seifer' you're referring to Seifer Almasy, Head of Network Security, I've not had the... pleasure of a meeting. The Foundation makes it policy to have nothing to do with Garden or its enrollees. As for this being a joke." He turned the computer screen so Zell could see the results. "I can assure you it's true. Sally can even double-check my procedures and findings. In fact," he offered me the laptop, "I invite you to do so."
Zell pushed the laptop back at Harry. "That's not her field. She wouldn't get what she's looking at." Zell gestured sharply toward the door. "Get the hell off my boat, and tell Seifer to go f--"
"Zell!" I gasped, shocked beyond words.
Zell clenched his jaw and pressed his lips together.
Worrying my lip, I watched Zell glower at Harry, fists clenched at his sides. Then I sent Harry an apologetic look, to which he nodded while motioning that he would leave his computer. He immediately left us alone, and very few minutes later I heard the sound of his boat pulling away.
"Zell--"
"Don't," was all he said before striding out of the galley and thudding upstairs. He slammed the door to the lower deck behind him, the harsh sound of him punching the mast a second or two later causing me a twitch and a sudden attack of tears.
I didn't understand why Zell didn't want to believe Harry. But I also didn't understand how being an orphan affected someone's life. Or what it was like to basically be raised within a place like Garden. The support of family had always been a part of my life.
Sighing deep, I momentarily tightened my fisted hands before standing and making my way to the hall. Hesitating at the base of the steps leading to the top deck, I gripped the handrail and stared at the door. I didn't know how to talk to him about this, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to try. It was only... I didn't know how long to wait before doing that.
A part of me wanted to wait and let him come to me. It's what I had done before. He always knew he could talk to me about things. And he did, too. When he was ready. But this... Seifer and his past was always a type of sore spot for Zell. I don't know why. Well, I could guess, but I didn't really know. And I didn't want to guess my way through this. But I didn't want to hurt him by asking too many questions. But I didn't want to let him think I didn't want to know.
I sighed again, scolding You're thinking too much, as I tightened my hold even more on the railing. I really hated not knowing what to do.
Giving the rail one last grip, I pushed away, turning back for the galley to stand in the doorway and stare at Harry's computer. Then, step by little step, I made my way to the table and lowered myself into a chair, hesitantly reaching out for the laptop to just as cautiously open it and wake it from standby mode.
I stared at the 'Foundation of Pre-Historical Artifacts' screensaver logo for a long time before sending a worried look over my shoulder. But Zell didn't stand there with an apologetic expression, ears pink as he muttered, 'Hey, Sally?' I could still hear him pacing back and forth top-side, occasionally giving the mast another smack that reverberated through the vessel.
That didn't feel right. It felt so wrong.
The 'Foundation' logo drew my gaze, and then my focus, and then my determination as I decided to find the proof this wasn't a joke. I grabbed up my internet phone and dialed Harry's number.
His answer sounded somewhat surprised. "Sally?"
"Hello, Harry. Um... I'm sorry about Zell. I... I don't..."
"It's understandable, to my way of thinking. In fact, is he there? May I speak with him?"
"Oh. Um... No, he's... He's upstairs on deck."
"I see." Harry remained silent for a moment before saying, "You don't believe this to be a joke, do you."
"No. No, I don't. It just... It feels right, I guess." And I couldn't explain what I meant. "But I don't know how to prove it to Zell. Not without..."
"Not without using my computer and possibly discovering information I wouldn't want you to uncover?" Harry finished.
"Yes." I flushed, absently dusting off the laptop (though it was immaculately clean) with a single finger stroke here and there. "I don't know how else to prove to him that Seifer isn't involved. He, Zell I mean, he just doesn't like being made a fool of."
"Again, that's understandable." Harry released a quick breath. "Well, I suppose there isn't anything of great secret on that particular computer. Nothing more revealing than what you made known to me, at any rate."
"Alright. Then I..." I cleared my throat. "I'll need your encryption codes." And that was like asking a girl how much she weighed or how old she was.
"Ah yes. You would, wouldn't you. Pen?"
Smiling, I retrieved a pen and paper from the center of the table. "Pen."
As any good encryption code should, it made absolutely no sense. In fact, as I studied the pattern used, it seemed to be a combination of words in a foreign language as well as some type of mathematical pattern of numbers. I didn't know what their significance was, a lot of people probably wouldn't, so I thought it to be a great code. And believe me, I'd seen a lot of great codes.
Harry walked me through the steps of accessing the different sections I might need, I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had seen set ups and layouts like this before, and then began giving me a list of things it would be good for me to know. Security hiccups, bugs that could cause problems, and things like that. It sounded a lot like the issues that Garden had before upgrading certain portions of their security software as well as their operating system.
I made a note to fix them if I could.
While he was giving me the step-by-step on several different things, I realized that he was a very 'hands on' type of person. What I mean is, very... structured. No, not even that. He had specific ways of doing things and wanted to let me know what those were. It wasn't that he thought I didn't know what I was doing, he just wanted to make sure I knew how he did things. Or maybe he wanted me to do it right the first time? It's hard to explain. It could come across as overly helpful. Or condescending, I guess. I wonder if he has any friends? Being overly controlling could hamper that kind of thing.
Just look at Seifer.
I scolded myself, thanked Harry, and then assured him I would call if I had any questions. He offered to walk me through the different possibilities for finding proof, which made me smile and think, I thought so, the same time I congratulated myself for being right about his personality type. But I declined his help, reminding him that if I didn't find the proof myself, Zell wouldn't believe it.
He could be stubborn that way.
Then I rang off and simply stared at the computer screen. I hated not being on deck with Zell, helping him deal with whatever he needed to deal with, but I knew that in some things I needed to give him space.
Space really sucked.
Unfortunately, because Zell continued to pace on deck, I couldn't focus as wholly as I wanted to. Which meant that I worked slower than I usually would on a project like this. I don't know how many times I had to physically clutch the table edge to keep from getting up and running on deck. That mostly happened when I heard the recognizable sound of him tapping the toe of his shoe against the floor. Something he always did when he was troubled. I could almost picture him leaning against the railing of the yacht, staring absently at the floor while tapping his toe behind him.
Did I mention how much 'space' sucked?
Especially when I didn't know if I had given him enough. I mean, how long was 'enough' with something like this? With anything, for that matter. All I could do was trust him to come down when he was ready to talk about it. That I would know when I had to go to him. That something would just... feel different. Relationships were hard work, sometimes resulting in tweaked feelings because one of us pushed a button we didn't know was there, but I knew I was into this one forever. I had decided that even before posting my first message board entry to him. How long ago was that? Three years?
It seemed as if I had already lived a lifetime with him.
So, I kept plugging away at the documentation that would prove to Zell every word was true. That it wasn't a prank. That he was the hero he had always wanted to be. After all, he was my hero every day. (Author's Note: Thanks, Cat. Great saying!)
Sighing deep, I braided my hair -- the action had a tendency of helping me problem-solve -- and then once more set to work gathering the proof my sweetie needed. That involved going through the motions that Harry had, which was fun -- in a twisted way, I suppose. Puzzles and problems had always been fun to me. I guess yet another reason I did so well in security, and the library before that.
Of course, this time it wasn't as fun as it should have been because I kept looking over my shoulder toward the doorway of the galley hoping that Zell would appear. He didn't, I could still hear him top-side, which made my lips droop downward and my focus return less willingly to the laptop screen. But I had to finish this before I could let myself go up there. I had to give him his alone time.
So, I kept on. Even logging onto the Garden system and pulling up Zell's medical information after getting permission from Dr. Kadowaki via secure instant message. She was curious, to say the least, but I told her I wasn't at liberty to say. Just that it was important. She accepted the answer and then allowed me access. That access was the last piece to the puzzle, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that Harry hadn't plotted with anyone or anything for this particular revelation. Everything was true.
My sweetie was the long lost heir to a forgotten kingdom.
Releasing a quick breath, I leaned back heavily in my chair as I just stared at the information. I still didn't know how this was going to affect him or our future, but I was determined to make it affect us as little as possible. After all, this kingdom had been gone for what? 1,500 years? Maybe more? There wasn't any reason for it to affect anything about him, or us, or our place with Garden. In fact if it was up to me, I wouldn't tell anyone. Not if it meant just more ammunition for those who liked giving Zell a hard time; Raijin and Seifer being the biggest two in my head.
But it wasn't my secret to keep. It was Zell's.
I gave my right braid a tug and then slowly stood, putting the laptop onto standby mode before lowering the screen and taking it into hand. I stared down at it for a long time before turning-- and giving a little start. Zell stood in the doorway, hands deep in the pockets of his denim shorts as he stared at the floor and tapped the toe-tip of his right shoe behind him.
"Hi."
He didn't look up. "Hi."
The poor boy looked miserable, at least to me he looked miserable, which made me want to drop everything and run. But I didn't. I gave him his space. Mostly because I didn't want to. Sometimes that meant I should.
I know. It's all so confusing.
Instead, I only let myself ask, "Are you hungry? I could make something," and kept away from the subject both of us probably wanted to talk about. We just didn't know how, more than likely.
"Not hungry," he mumbled.
Which had my lips drooping downward. Zell was always hungry. Except for when he had a cold. Then he was ravenous. "Oh. Okay." I adjusted my hold on the laptop as I tried to figure out how to broach the subject. I kept feeling he should do it.
Zell cleared his throat, sending me and the laptop a quick glance before looking away again. Then he mumbled, "I'm going for a swim," and turned to make his way back out into the hall.
It was all I could do to not call after him. I only whispered, "...okay..." and let him go figure things out.
His step paused on the stairs about half way up, and again I heard him tapping his toe-tip, more than likely rubbing his tattoo every now and again. I tightened my hold on the laptop and lowered my gaze to it, telling myself No, Sally. You stay put. You don't go and be all weepy, coddling when you need to back off. You stay put and let him have his space. I really hated being mature and responsible sometimes.
I heard Zell mutter a few choice phrases, luckily I couldn't understand them, and then heard him step the remaining way to the deck. This time, though, I ignored the voice that told me to stay put.
"Zell?"
The door at the top of the stairs leading below-deck immediately opened, Zell prompting "Yeah?" with an almost comical look of hope and expectation.
I ascended the remaining stairs, standing close as I softly pressed, "Can we talk about this?" while absently motioning forward with the laptop to let him know exactly what 'this' I was referring to.
He stared at the laptop, expression reluctant as he scrubbed at his neck.
"Please? I want to know why you won't belie--"
"You don't know Seifer."
And Zell hadn't ever really talked to me with that kind of a voice before. Kind of sharp. I must have twitched, because the look on his face was worse than anything I'd seen before.
"Oh man, Sally." He reached out to hold my upper arm, giving it a gentle squeeze as I held his apologetic expression. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bite your head off."
Nodding, I could only say "I know." I didn't know what else to say. I had no idea.
Zell squeezed my arm a second time before releasing a quick breath the same time he let me go. He said "Sorry," again, which made me feel even more like being a 'weepy coddle-bug', as Zack would say.
I swallowed it back and just offered, "It's okay, Zell. Really." But then I couldn't get myself to shut up and kept on with "You're upset. I'm not sure I understand why as completely as I'd like to, but I want to. That's why I want us to talk about it. Please? I hate seeing you upset like this." Sally! Be quiet! I bit my lip.
Zell sent me a glance, shoving his hands even deeper into his pockets and once more kicking at the floor with the toe of his shoe. "Don't sweat it. It's not a big deal. We'll just--"
"Not a big deal? Zell..." I set the laptop on the deck and reached out to tightly grip his upper arms. "What do you mean 'not a big deal'? Of course it's a big deal. It means having a family, even if it is one that's been forgotten a long time ago. That's a very big deal to me because it's about you." Sally, you're rambling! But I couldn't stop. "If you think it's just a joke, how is that any good for you? It's not. And this isn't a joke. It's real. I can prove it, too. But I don't want to do that if it's going to make you upset. I don't like seeing you upset."
I finally clamped my teeth down on my lower lip to get myself to be quiet, especially when Zell didn't meet my eyes once throughout the entire ramble. And when he kept being quiet, I let go of his arms and clasped my hands in front of me, not sure what to do next. I had never been very good at confrontations or things even remotely similar. I'd like to think I was better, but... but this was different.
I didn't like 'different'. It was very scary.
Clasping my hands even tighter, until they really hurt, I continued to watch his face. He only stared at the floor, his hands still in his pockets as he just stood there. Not even tapping his toe anymore. Please, Zell. Please talk to me about it. I want to help. But I wasn't going to push or nag. I wasn't.
"I'm a..." He cleared his throat as he withdrew a hand from a pocket and jerked a motion behind him. "I'm a... going to take that swim, so... uh... yeah."
He cleared his throat again and then hesitantly turned away, stepping toward the side of the little ship to stand at the railing while I stared, scolding myself for not knowing what to do. Or what Zell wanted me to do. Or what I should do. I only stood there like a fool, watching him pull off his t-shirt to stare down at it a second before tossing it aside and then kicking off his deck shoes.
I didn't run over to him, take hold of his arm and ask 'Why don't you want to believe something so wonderful? Why don't you want to believe that you were destined to be a hero?' with tears falling out of my eyes and wearing an expression that would make him melt. The tears were already on my cheeks. My lips were already drooping downward. He would have 'cracked' if I'd just stepped forward, crying his name like women do in those sappy movies where everything is perfect all the time. Well, at the end at least.
But I just couldn't. I couldn't do more than stand there watching him stare down at the waves lapping at the side of the ship.
My hopes rose when he only kept gripping the railing, eventually lowering his head and releasing a deep breath. When he straightened, tightening his grip on the rail before turning, I quickly wiped the tears from my cheeks. Staying put even when he sighed my name as he made his way over.
I loved it when he said my name like that.
Then he drew me into a tight embrace, which of course made me cry, and said "I'm sorry for being an ass-wipe," which for some reason always made me laugh.
"You aren't, Zell," I assured, snuggling.
Zell let out another deep breath. "It's just... Dr. Levinne says I've got a hero complex. Seifer knows that, what with him being Head of Network Security. He gets the psych work-ups on all the high-ranking SeeD. To make sure they're up to par for their job and the missions they get. Plus, he and I were in the same orphanage growing up, so he already knew it pissed me off when he picked on the little guys. I'd always bust my hump to step in and protect them. Even if I got the crap kicked out of me."
And the thought of Zell doing that brought warm fuzzies to me all over again. I couldn't help but smile.
"So for this... I mean, geez! The 'long-lost heir' to some huge kingdom-type thing with a king like that Edgar guy and everything? It reeked of Seifer."
I gave Zell a squeeze. "Seifer isn't that imaginative, Zell. He's more mean. Or twisted." Thinking of the prank in the elevator as a prime example.
Zell gave my back several rubs. "Yeah. I guess so, but still..." He sighed again, something he rarely did, and then tightened his arms around me. "I don't know about this, Sally. I don't know."
"You 'don't know' what?"
"I don't know how to take all this. No clue what to do with it. I mean... I... I don't know what I'm supposed to feel or think or anything like that. I hate that."
"I know you do." I snuggled. "We just won't worry about it right now, Zell. It'll be our little secret. Just you, Harry, and me. No one else needs to know."
Zell remained still and quiet for a long time before kissing the top of my head and whispering, "Man, girl, you rock on so many different levels."
It was the best thing he could have said to me. Especially after the hardest morning of my newly married life. I sighed and tried to snuggle closer. Zell chuckled before altering his hold to scoop me up into his arms and head below deck.
"I'm hungry."
I giggled, looping my arms around his neck. "Okay, but we've got to have Harry come back over. He wanted to talk to you before." Zell actually grimaced, which made me laugh. "Don't give me that, Mr. Dincht. He had to leave in a hurry before. Remember?"
"Yeah, but I still haven't had my breakfast, and I wanted to make out a little."
Flushing red, I kissed his cheek. "I know, but I don't want to be rude. Besides, he said that his Foundation stays away from interaction with Garden, and I would like to change that. We could be... ambassadors, in a way. And with Winhill being implemented in a year or so, wouldn't it be nice to know that we could do that type of diplomacy beforehand?"
"That and you like the geek," Zell accused.
I smiled. "So what if I do? I like everyone."
Zell smirked. "Yeah. I know. Even Marshal." He sent me a glance as I held the door open to below deck. "Good thing I don't get jealous."
Gasping, I focused on him with wide eyes. "Jealous? What for?"
"What for? Sally, dude-ette, what guy likes seeing his g-f nice to all the guys everywhere?"
And if it wasn't for the fact that he was chuckling before and after, I would have been sincerely concerned that he might actually have been jealous. Maybe I should make sure...? "But, Zell, I--"
"I'm kidding, Meg, don't sweat it. I know you can't help it."
He adjusted his hold to gauge the last step before stepping down, and then made his way to the galley. I watched his expressions the entire time, making a note to myself to talk to Marshal about how I should 'adjust myself' with him and the other guys. I didn't want Zell thinking anything that wasn't true, and I had a feeling that sometimes guys couldn't help it. I mean, I think I would get a complex if I saw Zell being his usual friendliness to the other girls. Luckily my job in security didn't make that possible, so I was blissfully ignorant.
And I did not let my imagination run away with me in that particular area.
I kissed his cheek and then snuggled my face against it. "I love you," I sighed. And I would do my best to let him know that I loved him a lot more than I had ever loved anyone else in my life. Jealousy was not going to be an issue. At least, not if I could help it.
Zell gave me a slight jostle. "Cut that out, kitten, or Harry can wait."
Giggling, as he knew I would, I pulled back and crinkled my eyes at him. I would have said 'okay' but Sally Regal scolded me about my restraint and priorities. I almost told her off, citing 'honeymoons don't have priorities', but I let her slide, telling Zell, "You can nuzzle while I make you breakfast."
To which he of course responded, "Booya!"
Harry would likely have to wait anyway.