The lights flickered.
"Come on in," Janine called as she marked her place in her book. She looked up as Sally Regal peeked her head around the corner. Smiling, Janine pushed herself up in bed. "Hey, Sal gal. How's it going?"
"Seifer ordered me to come up here and make sure you were staying in bed," Sally offered, uncertain. She stepped forward. "What happened? How come you're sup-–" Sally gasped and stepped forward when she saw the bandage on Janine's head. "What happened?" she asked again.
"Carelessness," Janine said vaguely. "I've had nastier scrapes than this, Sal. Don't worry about it."
Sally sat on the edge of the bed. "Did you need me to get you anything from the cafeteria? Coffee? Ice cream? Anything like that?"
Janine smirked. "I'm fine. Really. It's not as bad as it looks. I just get a little dizzy sometimes."
Sally wrinkled her nose. "I really hate that feeling."
Janine arched an eyebrow. "And where in the world would you have been handed a wound like this, Sal gal?"
"Oh... well..." She flushed and shook her head as she looked down. "Never mind."
Janine crossed her arms. "Never mind? Like hell. 'Fess up."
"What?" she asked softly. "I've never gone on any missions except for my Field Exam. I don't have anything to confess." Sally peeked up at Janine very briefly. "Really."
"Fine. Then you won't mind telling me about this 'dizziness' you had. Come on, girl! Don't leave me hanging bored to death by reading books when there's a story to tell!"
Sally giggled. "You're so silly, Janine. It's nothing majorly exciting."
"Nothing majorly exciting my ass! You're talking about dizziness, which usually always comes with a head wound or a concussion. Now talk!"
Sally giggled again. "O-K, sheesh." She released a deep breath. "You remember when that Galbadian missile-base attacked Garden?"
Janine clenched her jaw and crossed her arms. "Yeah." The blast had completely negated any chance of her ears healing from the Wendigo attack.
"Well, um..." Sally twisted her hands in her lap as her face flushed. "After that, Galbadia Garden... well, they attacked Balamb Garden and I was... uh... in the wrong place at the wrong time... and uh...."
Janine tilted her head as she watched Sally's face. "Sally, why don't you like telling people about what happened?"
Sally released a soft breath and looked up to meet Janine's gaze. "Why don't you like telling people you're deaf?"
Janine arched an eyebrow. "Hm. I think I get what you're saying."
Sally lowered her gaze again. "I don't like telling people about it because they treat me different. I was hurt, sure, but I'm better."
Janine regarded Sally for a second before asking "So what happened? Just for shit and giggles."
Sally released a long breath. "I got caught by a falling bookcase," she said softly.
Janine smirked. "I bet my scars are better than yours."
Giggling, Sally looked at Janine with twinkling eyes. "Bet they aren't."
"Like hell." Janine pulled down the blankets, lifted her shirt, and pulled her pajama shorts down to show a wide burn pattern on her right hip and across her right buttock. "See?" Sally's eyes widened as her jaw dropped. When her eyes began to glimmer, panic shot through Janine and she quickly covered up. "Damn, Sally," she said uncomfortably. "No need to get teary. It never did hurt." Yeah. The nerves are shot to hell. Janine motioned to Sally. "Where's yours?"
Sally wiped the wetness from her cheeks with a timid smile and stood, turning her back to Janine to pull her uniform-top out of her skirt and show a surgery scar that spanned almost half her spine.
Janine actually cringed. She forced a smile as Sally tucked her shirt back in and sat back on the side of the bed. "OK. So you beat me."
Sally giggled, reluctantly it seemed to Janine. "No, I don't. You lost your hearing. The only thing I lost was full use of one of my lungs."
Janine laughed. "Hey. As long as I win..."
Sally snickered. "You like winning at everything, don't you?"
"Hell yes! Finishing second is never the way to prove anything."
"Janine," Sally giggled, slightly shaking her head. "Second place isn't so bad."
Janine scoffed. "Well it sure as hell isn't first, and I can't get ahead if I'm dead last." Sally smiled and shook her head again with a 'You silly' expression. Janine regarded her. "'Course, how the hell did you get into the Special Security Office? I know you don't push and shove to first place, that's for damn sure."
"I just do my best," she admitted softly, flushing. "And I try to ask the right questions to learn stuff." Sally looked down at her hands as Janine continued to watch her. "You know what? I think people like teaching things to others. I know Zell loves it when I ask him to show me things." She giggled and glanced up at Janine. "He stands at least six inches taller."
Janine motioned to Sally. "Makes you feel damned important, I bet."
Sally timidly nodded. "I love it when people ask me for help."
"Never really thought about it," she finally said, absently tapped a rhythm on her upper arms. "It's always been about winning and being on top for me. Ever since I can remember. Absolute control. Leading the pack."
Sally's smile remained. "I bet you're a great leader, too. I know I wouldn't hesitate to follow your orders."
Janine chuckled. "Brown-noser."
Sally giggled. "I'm serious."
"Yeah. I know." Janine regarded Sally for another moment. "I guess I'm an arrogant ass to think I should always be at the front of the line, huh?"
Sally shook her head, eyes wide. "No, you're not. You're just assured. It's good for leaders and Instructors to be that way, isn't it?"
Janine smirked. "Yeah. I guess." She motioned to Sally. "What about you?"
Sally looked confused. "Me? What about me?"
"How do you find out how to get people to do what they should? I know for a fact that being an SSO means you have to give orders, or at least damn strong recommendations to Seifer. How do you get them to listen?"
Sally flushed and briefly looked away. "Well... I've a... learned a lot by just standing back and..." Sally cleared her throat. "Listening and watching. Asking questions helps, too." Sally's smile returned as she looked up. "You'd be surprised how much you can learn about people doing that. They like answering questions if you ask them right."
"Know from personal experience, do ya?"
Sally flushed and intensely examined her hands. "Yes, well, I... uh..." She flushed. "I watched Zell for about three years before actually talking to him."
Janine laughed. "The hell ya say!"
Sally glanced toward her. "Yeah. I know. Pretty pathetic." Her expression softened as she focused on an intriguing ring on her right hand. "But I learned so much about him doing that. I learned the subtle things. The little quirks that hinted at moods and emotions. The clues that help me know how to talk to him now." Sally's smile widened, and she met Janine's gaze. "Once I started talking to him, I learned even more. It was a different kind of... understanding."
Janine regarded Sally with a thoughtful expression. "Yeah. And you two are damn close. It's eerie how easily you two pick up on what the other's about."
Sally hugged herself. "I like being that close to Zell. The only people I've ever trusted that much were my parents... and maybe my brother."
Janine absently nodded. I'll be damned if I've trusted a person that closely. The ultimate thrill. "Where you two going from here?"
Sally's smile faded a bit as she again lowered her gaze to the ring. "I'm not sure."
Janine watched Sally's face. She smiled. "You're going to marry the spaz, right?"
Sally slightly nodded. "If he asks." She sighed and lifted her eyes to meet Janine's. "I really hope he asks," she whispered.
Janine chucked Sally lightly on the chin. "He'll ask, Sal gal. The way he looks at you when you're not looking? It's a wonder he hasn't asked already. He's wilder about you than... than... Hell. I don't know." Yet another thrill Janine craved.
Sally flushed. "He's a real sweetie."
"And he kicks ass in a fight."
Sally giggled as she shook her head. "I don't care about that," she protested.
Janine smirked and tapped her chest. "But I do. Strength and power are what I look for."
Sally's lips twitched. "I guess I can understand that." She stood. "But there's different kinds of power and strength. Like Headmaster Cid and his wife. Commander Squall. Quistis. All of them, don't you think?"
And the comment had Janine regarding the timid girl in a new light. "Yeah. I guess you're right," she said. "Never thought about it before."
Sally's eyes crinkled at the corners with her giggle. "Sorry, Janine. I didn't mean to lecture you."
Janine scoffed. "Lecture? Just a couple girls having a spit-spat. Leave it."
Sally nodded and then motioned to the door. "I better go."
"Hey. Thanks for coming, Sal gal. I was about to go nuts from all the quiet."
"Sure, Janine. I really like talking to you."
Janine smirked. "Yeah, I bet."
Sally giggled. "Janine...."
Janine gestured to the door. "When you see Seifer, could you have him stop by after work?"
Sally's eyes widened slightly. "Is something wrong?"
Janine waved a hand. "Nah. Just want to yak at someone who swears as much as I do."
Sally smiled and giggled. "Oh. Okay. I'll tell him."
"Not about the swearing part, Sal, if you don't mind. Just let him know I want him to come on over after work."
Sally nodded. "OK." She turned and headed for the door. Before she exited, she turned and said "I'm glad you and Seifer are getting along okay. When you first met him, I was afraid you guys hated each other."
Janine smirked. "Just sizing each other up, Sal gal. It's what we aggressive types do."
Sally smiled and waved. "I'll try and stop by this evening with dinner and Zell. Maybe we could play a card game or something?"
Janine's lips twitched upward. "Sure, Sal. Thanks."
Sally waved again and then closed the door behind her. Janine chuckled.
« † »
"Sir?"
Seifer sent the e-mail and proceeded to the next report on his computer. "Yeah."
Sally Regal stepped into his office. "I checked up on Janine Larabie for you, sir."
Seifer pushed the monitor away and focused on Sally. "And?"
"She seemed fine, and it didn't look as if she had been out of bed at all. We talked for a little bit and she didn't slur her words at all, or anything like that." Sally smiled. "She's so fun to talk to, sir."
Seifer smirked.
"Oh." The serious expression returned. "She wanted me to ask you to visit her after work."
Seifer raised an eyebrow. "Reason?"
"She... um..." Sally focused on her hands.
"Regal?"
"Well... she said she wanted to talk to someone." Sally timidly smiled. "Being in bed under doctor's orders isn't very fun, sir."
Hell no! "I'll see what I can do."
Sally saluted and then turned and left his office. Seifer absently tapped his pen on the desktop. Talk. He tossed the pen aside and pulled a report from his left, frowning down at the comparisons and warnings and whatever else was listed. Talk. He tapped his thumb against his desk as he continued to filter through the report with his other hand. He cleared his throat.
Seifer glanced to his watch. Shit.
« † »
"Ahndra, I'm leaving," Seifer reported as he locked his office door.
"Appointment?"
Seifer turned and headed for the elevator. "Request."
Ahndra's eyebrow twitched.
Seifer boarded the elevator and pressed the button for the main floor. He stared hard at the seam of the elevator doors–- He stepped off and proceeded down the stairs and around the corridors to the side-hall that led to the dorms. Up the stairs and down the hall to her room.
"Come on in!"
Seifer momentarily gripped the doorknob before opening the door and stepping inside. Janine lay in bed reading a book and dressed in a black tank-tee. Seifer's chest tightened as he approached.
Janine looked up and then smiled and lowered the book. "Hey, big guy."
Seifer pulled her computer chair from her desk and wheeled it to the side of her bed. He straddled it. "Larabie."
She tossed aside the book and motioned to the bed. "This is why I hate following orders." Janine crossed her arms and smirked at him. "Boring as hell."
"You'll survive."
Janine grimaced. "I know that. Just don't like sitting on my ass for hours on end. Sure, you do it all day, but at least you get to go on a coffee run every once in a while."
Seifer's lips twitched. "Sitting on your ass takes skill and discipline. Apparently you don't have what it takes."
"Oh come on. Cut me some slack. I've done some of my best work flat on my back."
Seifer chuckled. "Such as?"
"Hey now. I told you about that engine rebuild I had to do at the front line to get our ass out of the line of fire. Didn't I?"
"No. I don't believe you did."
"Shit. Some of my best work, too. Had the transport up and running in five." Janine's brown eyes twinkled as they regarded him. "Of course, I can do more than engine rebuilds. Seems to me I passed-up on performing in the line of duty just the other day."
Seifer adjusted his arms across the back of the chair. "How so?"
"OK. So maybe it was a personal issue, but I still did a damn good job communicating with a superior officer." Janine pointed at him. "I don't usually respect authoritative figures. They usually push the wrong buttons and have me all over their ass." She lowered her hand, and the smirk returned. "You know? You and Commander Squall are the only higher officers I can stand talking to."
Seifer regarded her with a surprising feeling of confusion. What the hell...? "Larabi--"
"Yeah. I know. I'm mouthing off more than a drunk parrot. Guess it's the tight quarters. I told you: I don't like sitting my ass in one place for very long. Not unless I like what the hell I'm doing. Otherwise I get jumpy and fidgety and can't shut the hell up."
Seifer's smirk returned as he watched her. Occasionally her hand would lift and make a motion as she spoke in a clearly agitated tone, crossing and adjusting and re-adjusting her arms as she continued to speak. It was damned amusing to watch.
"I remember I was trapped in a bunker one time on a training mission outside Dollet, some privately owned island or some such shit-hole, and I nearly drove the men in the bunker nuts with chattering and spouting. They said they were inches away from hog-tying me in the corner and stuffing a week-old sock in my mouth. Luckily the transport came before it got to that, but shit-- It was embarrassing! You ever been in a situation like that? I heard you were at the Galbadian invasion of Dollet when the communication tower was opened up. What the hell was that like? Who was in your party? I bet it was damn exciting to be on the edge of something like that and not knowing what the hell was going on."
"Larabie."
"What?"
Seifer regarded her a moment. "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you making yourself talk about your past?"
Janine looked away, pushing her lips to the side as she examined the nails of her left hand. "What the hell are you talking about? I told you. I get like this." She glanced toward him.
"Janine."
She looked fully over at him, slightly frowning. "What?"
Seifer adjusted his crossed arms over the top of the chair. "You don't volunteer information about yourself."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. It's a fact. You don't."
"So? I am now. You got a problem with that?"
Seifer shook his head. "No. I want to know why."
Clenching her jaw, Janine held his hard stare for only a moment before looking away. "Hell. I don't know." She adjusted her crossed arms.
Something minutely changed in her profile. Seifer tightened his scrutiny, confusion still tweaking at his mind. Personal information. Why? People like them held personal info closer than security secrets. It was safer.
Janine frowned and rubbed at a portion of her scalp behind her right ear-- She wasn't wearing her assists. Why the hell didn't I notice the lisp? Seifer clenched his jaw and then reached out to touch her knee under the blankets. She focused on him. "What happened to the chase?"
"Chase? What chase?"
Seifer motioned to her and then to him. "You and me. I chase. You chase... What happened?"
"It got boring," she snapped.
Seifer raised an eyebrow. "Try again."
Janine pressed her lips together. "Alright, fine. So I got distracted on a different thrill."
His eyebrow twitched. "Such as?"
"Getting to know you."
Seifer sat up as his arms went to his sides. "What?"
Janine nodded, motioning toward him. "I know. People like us don't do that. We chase, we challenge, and we move on. But you know? Sally and I were talking and she fed me another tidbit of a thrill. It sure as hell looks fun for her."
Intrigue bashed him over the head. "Sally-- Regal?"
Janine frowned at him. "Sure 'Sally Regal'. Don't give me that shit. You wouldn't believe some of the things she and Dincht do that sound damn-right fun!"
Seifer stared at Janine in unguarded shock.
"What?" she asked, clearly annoyed. "Quit gawking like a boy staring at his first nudie pic. So I want to find out a little more about you. What's the big deal? Aren't you curious about me?"
Seifer frowned. "This isn't funny, Janine."
"Who the hell says I'm making a joke? What's so bad about talking?" She pointed at him. "You can't sit there on your tight ass and tell me you haven't been curious to know what the hell I do when I'm not at work, or before I was here, or before I joined Garden." She pointed at herself. "And I sure as hell won't say I haven't wondered about you." She recrossed her arms. "So why not? Why the hell not talk about it? Trusting someone with shit we haven't told anyone else? Damn! No greater rush than that!"
His eyes narrowed as he regarded her. Janine held his gaze without a problem. She's serious! "Larabie, I'm Head of Netw--"
Janine grimaced as she said "Hell I know that! I'm not asking you to tell me the secrets about your work. I know how that toilet flushes anyway. I want to know about you."
Seifer stood. "What the hell does it matter?" He turned and strode toward the door, trying to ignore the sound of her slipping out of bed and stepping after him with barefeet on the floor.
"See? There's the rush. The thrill of the confession and the risk of the trust. That is what I'm talking about."
Seifer stared down at the doorknob as he felt Janine wrap her hand around his upper arm.
"I know it. People like us don't do things like this. The 'Sally Regals' and the 'Squall Leonharts' and 'Zell Dinchts' open their hearts or their flies and risk it all. And you notice something? They've got a different kind of thrill every day of their lives." Janine pushed and pulled at his arm and turned him to face her. Seifer stared down at her brown eyes that held a challenge he didn't want to read. "So why not?" she asked. "What the hell are we so scared of that we can't do this same thing?"
He pulled his arm roughly from her hold. "I'm not scared of anything."
"Then you're doing a helluva lot better than me," she admitted.
A first confession. Fear. People like them didn't admit to fear.
Janine held his gaze. "I dared you once to 'Bring it', and damned if you didn't. Best no-sex dare and thrill I can remember, too." She crossed her arms. "Now I guess I'm daring you again. You going to 'Bring it'? Or bow out?"
Seifer clenched his jaw.
"If you bow out," Janine continued, "that's okay. Don't blame you one bit. I'd do it myself except the thrill's got me so much by the throat that I know I'd regret it." She made a slashing motion with her arm. "It won't change a thing between us, either. You're still one helluva sexy man, more because you haven't given in to what we both want, and damned more exciting than anyone else I've met at Garden. It's just that I want to try a different thrill, and this happens to be the one I want to try."
Seifer glared down at her. Thoughts completely blocked off.
Janine nodded her head. "Yeah. I know. At least think about it. Bring me some coffee tomorrow morning and you can let me know then."
Seifer turned and grabbed the doorknob to open the door.
Janine's hand gripping his arm halted him. "It won't change anything, babe; you saying 'no'."
--Death is answering 'no'--
Seifer's grip tightened on the doorknob. Dammit! He sent her a sidelong look. "Personal stories, Janine. You're asking me to tell personal goddamn stories!"
Janine slightly nodded. "I'll tell you one of mine for each one of yours."
Seifer glowered at the door again. He wanted to know. About the burn on her hip. The scar on her neck below her left ear. The scarring on her scalp on the back of her head. The discoloration on the inside of her thigh. The surgery scar on her right knee... "Damn it," he hissed.
Janine moved to stand between him and the door, her hands going to grip the belted waist of his black slacks as she tucked her thumbs under. "My baby brother calls me Janey because he could never get the second 'n' in there. He's mentally handicapped."
Seifer stared down at her in complete and total shock. Then he finally very slightly shook his head. "Don't, Janine."
"Why not? We're SeeD. We keep top-secret information to ourselves every day of our lives. Classified missions. Need-to-know facts. Safe-houses. Witness-protection programs." She leaned in until he could feel her slight breath on his face. "My baby brother calls me Janey because he can't get the seco–-"
Seifer pressed his lips against her mouth to stop her. Confessions of trust. Personal information. Garden was his life. How could he be held responsible for their secrets and hers? He pulled back. "Don't."
Janine held his gaze, and he saw the fear. She knew the risk in trusting him. He was an ass. He could use this information she offered for his own jollies; he'd done it before. But she gave it anyway... He lifted a hand to cup the back of her neck and lightly caressed her mouth with his... and her cheek and jaw... and her neck and her throat... She pressed herself closer, her arms surrounding him as her breath feathered his skin.
Then Seifer pulled back, only far enough for her to be able to read his lips, and his eyes closed as he said "I was scared of the dark until I was 12."
...and damn was it a thrill.